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California

Sideways in Santa Ynez: Ten years after the film that put it on the map, the Santa Ynez Valley offers more than the pleasures of Pinot Noir

This post is part of a series on the search for the Cotswolds of California, i.e., an idyllic weekend escape within easy reach of Los Angeles. Earlier I profiled the Ojai Valley here.

Vineyards of the Santa Ynez Valley

This year marks the tenth anniversary of Sideways, Alexander Payne’s 2004 road trip film about the misadventures of Miles, a struggling writer and wine snob, and his friend Jack, a marginally successful actor and interminable philanderer. The action takes place in the towns and wineries of the Santa Ynez Valley in Santa Barbara County, where the two have headed for a last hurrah before Jack gets married. Aside from being an almost perfect comedy, Sideways brought the wine culture of this slice of central California into a mainstream consciousness previously dominated by Napa and Sonoma. To celebrate one of my favorite films turning ten, I ventured to the Santa Ynez Valley with my husband for a road trip of our own.

Hamlet Square, Solvang

Our base for the weekend was the Danish-settled town of Solvang, a place which I affectionately describe as twee. Its architectural style is twentieth-century timbered buildings and reproduction windmills, and the retail includes both Robert Kinkade—purveyor of sickly sweet, chocolate-box landscapes—and a year-round Christmas shop. (There must be a highly compensated MBA at Robert Kinkade who has figured out that the presence of a year-round Christmas shop is a strong indicator that a Kinkade shop will also do well in a location.) Fresh from a six-year stint living in Europe, I was primed to be snarky about mock-medieval architecture in a California town. Instead I found it charming—colorful, tidy and pedestrian-friendly. But we didn’t linger long at the King Frederik Inn following our early Friday evening arrival. A dinner reservation at the Hitching Post in nearby Buellton beckoned.

Just off the 101 Freeway, Buellton is the least village-y of the Santa Ynez Valley towns, studded with chain hotels, fast food outlets, and car dealerships. It is, however, home to two steak restaurants that play prominent roles in Sideways. The Hitching Post is where Miles first meets Maya, his romantic interest, while AJ Spurs is where Jack initiates a tryst that ends both badly and memorably, with the trystee’s rather fleshy, nude husband chasing him down the street after an attempt to retrieve the wallet he left behind in his first rush to escape. Perhaps because of these plot associations, ten years later reservations at the Hitching Post remain a must, while, according to one Solvang local, you can walk into the equally as good AJ Spurs and be assured a table most nights of the week.

The Hitching Post II in Buellton

We arrived at the Hitching Post in time for a pre-dinner drink at the bar—a glass of the Highline Pinot Noir, of course. The bar doesn’t look like it’s changed much since Miles downed a bottle of Highline Pinot on his own and stumbled alone down the highway back to his motel. Even the bartender looked suspiciously familiar when compared to several framed shots of the cast that line the bar walls. Dinner began with a 1970s-style basket of assorted crackers and a silver tray of crudités, both dated and charming given I’m old enough to remember when this kind of start to a meal was the norm. The time warp continued with shrimp cocktail and iceberg lettuce dressed with blue cheese, mostly, I suspect, because the owners of the restaurant don’t see any need to update the appetizers when this restaurant is all about the steak. Thick, juicy slabs of it, grilled to perfection on a barbeque that we happened to have a perfect view of from our table.

Satiated and back in Solvang, we decided to try and walk off dinner with a short stroll to the Wandering Dog Wine Bar. Here the young bartender, a graduate of viticulture from Humboldt University, helped us select a nightcap of Syrah, the specialty of the area, and an accompanying homemade chocolate truffle. He also provided a winery map and tips for a circular winery route the next day, which we planned to tackle on bikes.

On Saturday morning we strolled around Solvang in search of breakfast, settling on the Belgian Café for its sunny outdoor tables. We went savory instead of sweet, choosing eggs studded with a peppery Danish sausage over an extensive selection of waffles. By the time we finished the heat was already beginning to feel daunting for a day out on bikes. Despite being mid-morning, we made a start for our first winery.

Rusack Vineyards on Ballard Canyon Road

Our path took us out of Solvang to the north, past the Hans Christian Andersen Park to Chalk Hill Road. We ventured down one dead end before we finally found our way to Ballard Canyon Road, but what’s a road trip away without a fight over directions? The hills rose with the dusty heat, and we were ready to stop when we caught sight of Rusack Vineyards on our left, an inviting white house at the top of a sloped drive. After refilling our water bottles we settled down on the leather couch to share a flight of tastings. There was also a patio with tables, which would have been inviting if our first priority wasn’t to escape the sun for a few minutes. We left warned of more hills between us and Los Olivos and emboldened by the wine.

Despite being the most challenging leg of the journey, the road between Rusack and Los Olivos was the most scenic, with hardly any traffic. The parched hills and sharp blue skies reminded me more of Oklahoma than California until the final rise before our descent into Los Olivos, where a lush vineyard covered the hillside. Once in the center of Los Olivos, my feeling of geographic displacement resurfaced. The village is laid out around two intersections and, asphalt roads aside, looked like it could have been the set for an episode of Little House on the Prairie.

Ballard Canyon, home of the region’s newest American Viticulture Area (AVA)

Scouting for our lunch spot, we found Los Olivos Wine Merchant & Café, location of a memorable dinner in Sideways in preparation for which Miles makes his famous declaration, “I’m not drinking any fucking merlot!” While tempting, we opted instead for two seats at the bar at Sides Hardware & Shoes. The name certainly doesn’t give it away, but this converted former storefront turned out to be the culinary high point of our weekend. On the pork-heavy menu I was intrigued by something called a hammered pig salad but couldn’t resist a special of duck and cherry grilled cheese. In a world where restaurants have run amok with gourmet grilled cheese nights, Sides delivered with this knockout combination of flavors. And after our previous evening of red wine, it was a relief to see a wine list full of Santa Barbara County whites, several of which were served on tap. Following our splendid air-conditioned hour or so at Sides, we reluctantly ventured back on our bikes, this time to Alamo Pintado Road, which promised to take us back to Solvang in a straight, almost-flat shot. But not, of course, without a couple of wine-tasting stops along the way.

The Enjoy Cupcakes Trailer, whose wares are on offer at the Saarloos & Sons Tasting House in Los Olivos.

Next up was the Ballard Inn, a dove-gray house with a gracious wraparound patio that’s almost halfway back to Solvang. (Blink and you’ll miss the turnoff, as we did.) Inside there’s a lauded restaurant, as well as a tasting room hosting winemakers who are too small to have their own. One such winemaker is the duo of Kenneth Gummere and Mark Crawford, whose cheekily named Kenneth-Crawford “Four Play” Syrah was so good we had to take a bottle home. The tasting was my favorite of the trip, largely because of the local gentleman who walked us through each wine with a winning combination of geniality and knowledge. When asked his advice on a final tasting stop between Ballard and Solvang, he directed us to Rideau to experience the laid-back vibe imbued by its New Orleans-born owner, Iris Rideau.

The tasting room at Rideau was packed with people and a makeshift collection of tablecloth-covered card tables where our young host offered generous pours, all of which added to the laissez les bons temps rouler feel. After choosing a bottle of the 2012 dry Riesling from Curtis Vineyard to take home, we wandered away from the throng into the main house. Here the feel was entirely different, Victorian-ramshackle with polished wood, velvet curtains,and decorative touches. It was a welcome antidote to the Craftsman and deliberately tasteful styles favored by other area tasting rooms.

Twentieth-century medieval in Solvang

Back in Solvang, showered, refreshed, and relieved of our iron steeds, we had time for another tasting at Cali Love. Run by fellow escapees from Los Angeles with a love for music, the tasting room is covered in music memorabilia, including a collection of concert tickets underneath the glass bar top. I was pretty sure I was going to like the wine made by someone who had seen Lucinda Williams live, and I was right. They turned out to be another purveyor of local whites, and I’m a fan of their unfiltered Sun Down Riesling.

Tasting wines you enjoy but having to spit them out to maintain a semblance of sobriety is a bit like an unconsummated marriage; by seven o’clock we were ready to sit down somewhere with an entire glass of the stuff. We settled on Santé Wine Bar & Lounge on the east edge of town. Its white leather and chrome interior is the antithesis of the Solvang design ethic, which makes it a perfect spot if you’re feeling a little suffocated by all the cuteness. The French proprietor adds to the charm, and when we heard him recommend a dinner spot to some other customers we took note.

After a glass of Flying Goat fizz at Santé, we headed for Succulent Café, where we were lucky to nab the last two seats at the bar (all the tables inside and out were booked). Like Sides, Succulent Café has a thing for pork, showcased with their selection of homemade charcuterie. In a futile attempt to inject the appearance of health into the proceedings of the last 24 hours, we opted instead for their excellent daily vegetarian pizza special. A nightcap back at the Wandering Dog Wine Bar brought our last evening in Solvang to a close.

Dessert for breakfast at the Solvang Restaurant

Before leaving the next day, we had to try breakfast at the Solvang Restaurant. It’s a kitschy spot where the scallop-edged wood booths once hosted Miles and Jack as they tried to sate their hangovers. The specialty of the house is the Danish ebleskiver,a powder-sugar dusted pancake sphere smothered with raspberry jam, and a suitably sweet send-off to our weekend. The last two days had been more of a Sideways homage than a recreation, missing out key spots from the film like the esteemed Foxen winery. But like Sideways, which has a sequel in novel-form called Vertical, we knew our weekend in the Santa Ynez Valley was only the first of more to come.

The Details
Download a Sideways Map from Visit Santa Barbara here.
Where to Stay:
We stayed in the clean and functional King Frederik Inn:
617 Copenhagen Drive
Solvang, CA 93463
(805) 688-5515

For a more luxurious option, try the Ballard Inn
2436 Baseline Avenue
Ballard, CA 93463
(800) 638-2466

Where to Eat:
The Hitching Post
406 E Hwy 246
Buellton, CA 93427
(805) 688-0676

Sides Hardware and Shoes, a Brothers Restaurant
2375 Alamo Pintado Avenue
Los Olivos, CA 93441
(805) 688-4820

Succulent Café
1555 Mission Drive
Solvang, CA 93463
(805) 691-9444

The Solvang Restaurant
1672 Copenhagen Drive
Solvang, CA
(805) 688-4645

Where to Drink:
Wandering Dog Wine Bar
1539 Mission Drive
Solvang, CA 93463
(805) 686-9126

Rusack Vineyards
1819 Ballard Canyon Road
Solvang, CA 93463
(805) 688-1278

Rideau Vineyard
1562 Alamo Pintado Road
Solvang, CA 93463
(805) 688-0717

Cali Love Wine
1651 Copenhagen Drive
Solvang, CA 93463
(805) 688-1678

Santé Wine Bar & Lounge
433 Alisal Road
Solvang, CA 93463
Cotswolds

Giffords Circus: The Anti-Cirque du Soleil

The Cotswolds sometimes seem lost in time, a relic of a simpler way of life. Each summer this vibe is heightened by the appearance of Giffords Circus’ burgundy-painted wagons winding their way along the country lanes. Apart from the occasional surreal touch—the cotton candy vendor, a live turkey for an oracle—this traveling circus is firmly rooted in the past.

Cotton candy for Surrealists

This year’s Greek-god themed production, The Thunders, features a ballerina dancing en pointe atop her partner’s head, acrobats catapulting off an over-sized seesaw, and a clown pretending to throw knives at a blindfolded audience member. A pair of rescued dalmatians, after much cajoling, jump through a hoop, a dog rides a pony, and there’s a goose, just because. All frivolity is to the accompaniment of a live band.

Interval tea served in a proper mug

After the show we joined 40 other audience members at the Circus Sauce restaurant in a tent set up outside the chow wagon. Here we feasted family-style on a meal of pease pudding and pork belly served from atmospherically chipped Emma Bridgewater pottery. The cooks put on a marionette show, but the real entertainment at our end of the table was provided by two women doing a very convincing impression of the French and Saunders country ladies (start at 1:02 here)

The Sauce Restaurant tent

Don’t miss it. Remaining dates on this year’s tour are here.

Cotswolds

Open Gardens, Old Friends

Our last Sunday in the Cotswolds coincided with Guiting Power’s annual Open Gardens Day (first Sunday of June each year). The flowers—poppies, foxgloves, cornflowers, irises—were ravishing, the lemon drizzle cake beyond reproach, but mostly we went hoping to bump into Dorothy, the 94-year old matriarch of the village who still regularly mans the till at the local shop, her namesake Watson’s Groceries. We first came to know Dorothy when we rented a cottage in the village in 2007 and made her acquaintance at church. There were, on average, seven attendees at each service, which meant we made the acquaintance of everyone. When we subsequently bought a cottage in a town 20 minutes away, we still made the trek up to Guiting Power on the one Sunday a month when there was church, not because we were particularly religious but because, then as now, we wanted to see Dorothy.

On this particular Sunday we found her selling tickets at a card table in front of the 1970s-era village hall. Wary she wouldn’t remember us after several years away, I greeted her by saying, “It’s Jennifer.” She seemed confused as to why I was explaining who we were and immediately asked if we had started a family yet (clearly she hadn’t read my book) before launching into an update on the health scare of the Dorothea plant we had given her for her 90th birthday. Unable to reach it on the window ledge to water it while the house was being redecorated, she had feared for its health but, somehow, it had pulled through. As had Dorothy. Eight months earlier she had fallen backwards down the stairs of her flat, broken several ribs and gotten 18 stitches in her head. As she explained it through her benevolent Black Country accent, she was just on her way out of the house to visit Jeanne, the equally lovely and slightly less elderly lay minister, when she decided she better get a sweater because “you know how it is at Jeanne’s house.” It was just as she turned on the stairs to retrieve her cardigan that she slipped and fell.

We didn’t know “how it was” at Jeanne’s house, but in a moment that was straight out of Alan Bennett if Alan Bennett had written about the Cotswolds instead of Leeds, Dorothy’s raised eyebrows told us in the most plain way that Jeanne never turned on her heating. In an instant we were reminded of the barely detectable but still unmistakable tension we had observed between these two ladies over the years. Where I got my idea that such tensions should cease to exist after a certain age, I don’t know, but it made me smile to be reminded in this way that they we remain human until the bitter end. Unwittingly dispensing another life lesson, Dorothy ended our conversation by telling us she had recovered quickly because she was fit before it happened, as indeed she seemed that day. It was a pleasure, as always, to see her.

More photos from the Open Gardens:

 

 

 

 

Cotswolds

Making up for Michelle: My Royal Encounter

Generally speaking, I have nothing but praise for First Lady Michelle Obama. She’s an accomplished career woman, advocate of physical fitness, and, miraculously, has managed to pull off bangs (that’s a fringe to my British readers) in middle age. As far as I can tell, her only fault was that memorable moment in 2009 when she dared to hug the Queen of England. Luckily for Mrs. Obama, and on behalf of all Americans in England, I set out to make good on her gaffe this past weekend when I had occasion to meet the Queen’s son, HRH The Prince of Wales.

Check out that footwork. Years of childhood ballet recitals finally pay off.

Prince Charles was visiting our Cotswold town to attend a choral concert as part of Music in Country Churches, a charity of which he is a patron. That I was allowed to meet him, and thus rectify Mrs. O’s impropriety, was through the good fortune of our cherished friendship with Rupert and Ralph (of Americashire fame), who are residents of the former vicarage. During the concert interval, HRH would take refreshment in a marquee on the lawn of the vicarage. To thank the residents for their hospitality, Prince Charles would then take a moment to greet them all before returning to the church for the remainder of the concert. Knowing of my Anglophilia and having met HRH on a previous visit some years ago, Rupert and Ralph suggested we masquerade as residents of the vicarage and take their place in the receiving line. In exchange for their generosity, the only request was that I behave. And so I took to the internet to research royal etiquette and spent the day doing curtsy practice around our kitchen. When my turn came, I would be ready.

As HRH made his way down the receiving line, I readied myself for the big moment, shifting my weight to my right foot and purse into my left hand. With his pleasantries nearly completed with the woman next to me, I went in for my curtsy, adding a reverent little bow. Just at that moment, a chap from a few places earlier in the receiving line took advantage of the pause to attempt to re-engage HRH in a bit of light banter. I panicked. What was this over-eager buffoon doing distracting Prince Charles from the gracious sweep of my curtsy? I was already down. Should I come out of my pose and wait my turn or should I just stay in position? Erring on the side of caution—there would be no Michelle-esque breaches of etiquette on my watch—I chose to stay as I was, leaving HRH to greet my slightly overgrown roots when he did turn his attention to me.

In an apparent bid to make HRH feel better about his comb over, I show him my roots

As patiently as he had waited for the last fellow to finish his bit of not-so-snappy repartee, HRH waited for me to complete my genuflection so that we could shake hands. Thankfully my husband managed to answer some questions on my behalf while I was busy bowing. I’m not sure I ever managed to form any words, but at least I have proof I managed to smile.

Oh shit, the future King of England is talking to me

Cotswolds

Quirky Cotswolds: A guide to the region’s silliest sporting events

While London lays claim to hosting the most Olympic Games of any city, its record pales in comparison to Chipping Campden. This quaint Gloucestershire town has been holding its own “Cotswold Olimpicks” each year since 1612, when the events included singlestick, wrestling, jumping in sacks, and shin-kicking. Farther south in Tetbury, competitors race uphill carrying woolsacks on their backs in the town’s most famous annual event, while, to the west in Gloucester, they race downhill in an attempt to catch a wheel of cheese.

These are but a few examples of the Cotswolds’ quirky collection of annual sporting events. Most are open to the public for free or a small fee and include a whole series of festivities in addition to the main event. Even if you don’t compete, any of the outings in our guide below would make an entertaining—and quintessentially Cotswoldian—addition to your itinerary.

An old woodcut of the Cotswold Games. Originally published in 1636 as the cover of the book Annalia Dubrensia. Image via Wikimedia Commons.

Rubber Duck Racing
Shake off the excesses of Christmas Day with a brisk Boxing Day walk in the idyllic village of Bibury. Stop along the way to take in the annual rubber duck race on the lovely River Coln, which starts with decoys and ends with the yellow versions more commonly found in the bathtub. As a bonus, Bibury is the picturesque home to one of the most photographed scenes in all the Cotswolds, the National Trust’s Arlington Row.

Cheese Rolling
Cheese rolling on the steep slope of Cooper’s Hill is the Cotswoldian equivalent of Pamplona’s running of the bulls. Every year crowds gather to watch an intrepid group of racers chase an eight-pound wheel of Double Gloucester, which also happens to be the prize. The event caused quite the controversy last year when it carried on despite warnings from officials about health and safety concerns. Past cheese-rolling events took place on the late spring bank holiday Monday, but check this website for details of future events. One thing’s for sure: Double Gloucester has never been so dangerous.

Woolsack Races
The Cotswolds are known for their sheep-dotted hills, and each year in Tetbury, on the late spring bank holiday Monday, they celebrate the region’s wool heritage with woolsack races. The races, which consist of running up Gumstool Hill with a woolsack on your back, are thought to have originated as a way for young drovers to show off their strength to local lasses. These days, women can also demonstrate their prowess by competing, albeit carrying a slightly lighter load, at 35 pounds, than the men, who heft 60 pounds. Thankfully, there are pubs at either end of the racecourse to offer refreshment to both participants and spectators alike.

Olimpick Games
Wish you could relive the glory of the 2012 London Olympic Games every year? You’re in luck. Robert Dover’s Cotswold Olimpicks take place on Dover’s Hill in Chipping Campden every year on the Friday after the late spring bank holiday. There may not be a Danny Boyle-directed opening ceremony, but there’s still plenty of fun to be had, including music, races, and the traditional shin-kicking contest. The Olimpicks even have their own royalty in the form of a Scuttlebrook Queen, who is fêted the following day in a procession that includes fancy dress and Morris dancing.

River Football
Every August bank holiday Monday, the villagers of Bourton-on-the-Water play football in the River Windrush. You read that right: not on the banks of the River Windrush but actually in it. Goal posts are set up under the stone bridges, and visitors do their best not to get splashed while cheering on the teams from the surrounding green. Just down the road from the site of the match is Birdland Park & Gardens, a family-friendly venue where, dotting the river, you’ll find flamingos rather than football players.

Cotswolds

An Afternoon at the Big House

Lawn stripes. Can it get anymore English?

We’re back in the Cotswolds for a few weeks and we seem to have brought the weather with us from California. Sunday was one of those days when there is no better place to be in the world than England. A landscape lush with yellows of laburnum trees and rapeseed was offset by the contrast of a cloudless blue sky. By happy coincidence Stowell Park, the local big house and home of Lord and Lady Vestey, opened its gardens for a charity plant sale.

Peonies in the walled garden

We picked up a few cuttings to keep the gnomes company in the stone trough of our courtyard garden, then spent another hour admiring the wildlife around the house. My husband’s aunt was with us and she declared the view from in front of the house—looking out over Yanworth and the Coln River—to be one of the finest in England. It’s the kind of scenery that never photographs as well as it looks to the naked eye so I took a shot of the house instead, which is none too shabby. These bulls were in the pasture and, on a day like Sunday, I’d be happy to live there, too.

Bucolic bliss incarnate
Cotswolds

Banksy in the Cotswolds

Alongside my favorite pubs and long walks in the countryside, I’ve just added a new, rather incongruous activity to my to-do list for our upcoming May visit to the Cotswolds: see the new Banksy that appeared last week in Cheltenham.  Painted around a phone box, it shows three men in trench coats and sunglasses, tapping the phone.

The location was presumably chosen because of its proximity to the UK’s Global Communications Headquarters, more commonly known as GCHQ and the rough British equivalent of America’s NSA. It’s an industry that’s not exactly an obvious fit with with the image of arcadian bliss commonly conjured, including on this blog, to describe the Cotswolds. Then again, that may be exactly why GCHQ, and Banksy, chose this spot.

Cotswolds

Spring 2014 Literary Guide to the Cotswolds

April kicks off a verdant season of literary events in the Cotswolds:

The Chipping Norton Literary Festival takes place 24-27 April with a full calendar of author talks, readings, workshops and children’s events. On my wish list are appearances by Tim Harford, aka the Undercover Economist of the Financial Times, and Emma Bridgewater, doyenne of British pottery that graces country kitchens (and aspiring country kitchens) around the world.

It may technically be just outside the boundary of the Cotswolds, but I would be remiss not to mention Stratford-upon-Avon and the festivities there for Shakespeare’s 450th birthday celebration on the weekend of 26-27 April. The town’s Literary Festival runs in parallel through 4 May.

Back in the heart of the Cotswolds, festivities are underway to celebrate the centenary of Laurie Lee, author of Cider with Rosie. I’m most looking forward to the 26 June unveiling of 11 poetry posts inscribed with Lee’s poetry and positioned along walks throughout the Slad Valley.

England

The Grandest Race: England’s Grand National

As a makeshift Cotswoldian, my horse racing sympathies should naturally lie with that region’s biggest race of the year, the Cheltenham Gold Cup. But I’ve always been partial to the mayhem that is the Grand National, and not just because I’m married to a Liverpudlian. In honor of the race at Aintree tomorrow, I’m sharing an excerpt from my memoir, Americashire, that helps explain my kinship with it. For context, it takes place immediately after I have been treated for the first symptoms of multiple sclerosis and celebrates long shots of all kinds.

The UK is in love with horse racing, so much so that there are betting tips every day on BBC Radio 4’s flagship morning news program, Today, roughly the equivalent of NPR’s Morning Edition. Another regular segment on this show is Thought of the Day, in which a priest or rabbi or imam offers some spiritual insight in the form of a quickie sermon. That these two segments sit alongside each other without any trace of either irony or discomfort is perhaps the best illustration I can offer of the difference between America and the UK.My first outing following the treatment was to the wine bar to watch my favorite horse race of the year, The Grand National. Miles was working behind the bar, and his reliable reply to my inquiry of how he was—“marvelous now that you are here”—made me feel particularly good that day. He just happens to have a bookkeeper who is also a bookmaker, and so the small group that had assembled was able to call in some bets before the race started. (Between this and the wine, free-range eggs, and homemade marmalade on offer, this place was getting dangerously close to supplying all my needs in life.) I broke my cardinal rule of choosing my bets based on horse’s names I like, instead opting for two tips I read in the appropriately named “How to Spend It” supplement in the weekend Financial Times. This is how I came to have Snowy Morning and Butler’s Cabin to win.

At 4:20 PM, the race got underway in a manner befitting of the Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride of horse racing. There are no starting stalls in The Grand National. Instead the forty competing horses just rushed the starting line like a school of crazed fish. There were two false starts before the official let them get under way on the four-and-a-half-mile course.

The other distinctive feature of The Grand National is the fences, thirty of them to be exact. They look like giant hedgerows, taller than the horses, some with ditches and water features and names like The Chair and Becher’s Brook. Surviving the process of elimination—which is as much what winning this race is about as being fast—starts at the first jump when a handful of horses or their jockeys or both go down. This continues over every jump, and it is a dramatic, sometimes wrenching sight with horses lolling on their backs and jockeys in a protective, head-clutching fetal position as they try to avoid impact from other horses flying over the fences behind them. A handful of jockeyless horses still make their way around the course at any point in the race, oblivious to the fact that they’re disqualified and generally posing a hazard to everyone else. None of my horses won, but it was no small feat that all three finished. Only seventeen of the forty did.

The finish line was not the only milestone reached that afternoon. After three straight weeks of being patient and solemn and an emotional rock, D finally relaxed enough to start introducing some humor into my recent health scare. He joked with Miles about how it would go down in our small rural community if he left me now that I was a “disabled lady.” Miles replied it would depend on how fast and with whom I then took up, a scenario that, judging by D’s expression, he had failed to consider. Both Miles and Roddy had been a comfort since the whole MS scare had begun. Roddy had confided his own daughter had MS, somewhat demystifying the disease in the process, and Miles had sprung into action, tapping into his network to get advice on the best neurologists in the region. And now, right on cue, Miles was also ready with a bit of deadpan humor.

The joking was a relief to me. Ever since the possibility of MS surfaced, I had been concerned about the impact to D’s depression. But instead of sinking him into one, the experience had the opposite effect. He had been calm and devoted throughout. Although he was dealing with the same terrifying thoughts about the potential impact of this disease that I was, it was as if his subconscious wouldn’t allow him to melt down. We were part of a team, and two of us couldn’t be on the bench at the same time.

I was feeling great but cautious, having made the mistake of spending an hour that morning on WebMD reading up on MS after showing such exquisite restraint with Internet research earlier in my treatment. It was filled with depressing articles called things like “MS and Your Career” or “MS and Intimacy.” The thing that got me most about my prognosis was the uncertainty. Even if I was diagnosed, it didn’t offer much more insight into what happened next. The symptoms I could experience ranged from a little muscle spasticity or feeling like my foot is asleep to loss of bladder control, sudden paralysis, or blindness at intervals of anything from weeks to months to years between episodes. I must have been at that stage in confronting bad news where you try to find meaning in things, because the parallels to the Grand National seemed obvious. First there was the rapid-fire process of elimination that got me to my initial diagnosis: voice-box damage, stroke, and brain tumor knocked out in consecutive days like horses fallen at consecutive gates. And like MS, the odds mean little in The Grand National. The winner, Mon Mome, was one hundred to one, while another favorite, Hear the Echo, collapsed and died in the run in. I took comfort in Butler’s Cabin, one of my bets, who finished in seventh but collapsed shortly after crossing the finish line. He was quickly revived by a dose of oxygen, springing to his feet to the relieved cheers of the crowd.